


An angel, a demon, and a human

by Plant_child



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: M/M, multiple oc - Freeform, oc x cannon - Freeform, shit demon now has a shit human
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-19 03:03:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19966975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plant_child/pseuds/Plant_child
Summary: A boy and his adventures with his demon.  A book comprised of oneshots!





	1. Pools

**Author's Note:**

> Hastur belongs to Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman  
> Norma belongs to the amazing co-author Inlustris_inferno  
> Elliott belongs to me!!

He didn't know how it happened. Heck, he didn't know why it happened. Maybe God was testing him? Was that it? To see how he would treat others? Or maybe God was trying to see what he would do under these circumstances. Whether he would give in to temptations or not. He had gone to church every Sunday since he was born! Well, nearly every Sunday since he was about 2 or 3.

No matter what cruel joke God was trying to play, Elliott could not ignore the annoying creature any longer. Said creature was staring at him through the doorway. The demons inky black eyes seemed to pierce the soft white flesh on the teens back. It sent shivers down the boy's spine to know he was being stalked like prey. Elliott would have closed the door to save himself if the demon hadn't knocked it off its hinges about a month ago.

"Don't you have something better to do?" The boy hissed, slipping a tank top over his slim frame, not caring enough to turn around and face the creature. A low chuckle could be heard over a silent scoff. The demon acted so cockily as if he were only sparing the boy to watch his misery. He probably did enjoy the fact he could make the boy squirm by simply staring at him.

"Of course not. Can I come in?" The only good thing about demons was the fact that they could not enter a room if the owner said they could not. Sometimes, Sunday school was worth waking up at 6 in the morning. But, then again, what sane person would think they would meet a demon in the first place, much less be living with one.  
"Shoo! I need to put on my swimming shorts. I'm not going to have some demon see me naked." Elliott mumbled the last part. He didn't hear the demon leave, he actually never heard him do anything but talk, however, the teen could no longer feel his presence. It was insane how the two even met in the first place. Even if it were a month ago, it didn't feel as such. 

The night they met was dark and stormy. The new apartment was bare with only a couch, a small coffee table, a TV mounted to the wall, and a boy shivering under a mountain of pillows and blankets. The winter had been a brutal one, and the small radiator heaters could only do so much to warm the place. Local news ranted about how dangerous the roads were and would not stop reiterating the fact no one should be outside.  
That didn't stop Norma.

The nature witch, as Elliott called her, was unfazed by most natural weather. Before he had moved into his small apartment, the girl had lived just a couple of blocks away from him. He never noticed her, until that one night in April. The month had been a bad one for storms. Streets were flooded enough that driving was nearly impossible, and thunder sounded like an old friend. Sheer darkness and gloominess had begun to take its toll, however, for a certain child. Not being able to go outside for 3 days was nearly the end of the world for a kid. 

During that spring Elliott would just stare out the window. He prayed that the rain would disappear so he could roll around in the grass and pick forget me nots for his mother and friends. Occasionally he would wake up in a cold sweat, thinking the earth was flooding like the bible said it had so many centuries ago. However, that night, Elliott was watching the rain hit his windowpane. The pitter-patter of the raindrops gently coaxed him to closer and closer sleep. That's when, through his heavy eyelids, he saw her.  
The girl was outside, with a bucket, collecting stray water droplets that hurled from the clouds far above the ground. Elliott's eyes widened at the girl who seemed to dance in the rain. Quickly, but incredibly silently, the young child grabbed his shoes and a bright pink children's rain poncho. 

As soon as the door opened the cool midnight air kissed the child's nose and cheeks turning them a rosy color. Elliott closed the door behind him and approached the women with the bucket. She had a long sleeve black sweater and some baggy jeans on. She also wore a hat that looked like a mix between a witches and sun hat. It also had two little sprigs of lavender attached to the brim.

She felt safe. As if Elliott could approach her, leaving all his fears aside. The closer he walked the more soothed he felt and the lighter he could walk. Being around her made the young boy feel as if he were walking on clouds. Like he was huddled up by a fire in the dead of December. Before he knew it, Elliott had wandered close enough that he was able to touch the women if he were to stick his arm out.

“I just hate that dreaded thunder, don’t you?” The lady hadn’t even turned to face the child. Dazed, all he could do was nod, mouth gaping. Norma turned around and smiled brightly as if she stole every drop of sunlight before it hit the earth. She didn’t seem the least bit wet and Elliott realized he couldn’t hear the rain on his poncho.  
“Why do you have a bucket?” Elliott asked, lifting a tiny finger to point at the big silver object in Norma’s arms. The girl frowned and tilted her head to the left in confusion for a split second before smiling again. She held out the tin bucket, filled to the brim as if it weighed the same amount as a feather.

“It’s freshwater for my plants, they tell me the tap is just absolutely horrid.” She peered into the bucket as the water sloshed around. The night didn’t feel as cold as before, nor as muggy. Instead, it felt like a cool spring night, as it should have been. Norma began to walk away. Elliott felt panicked and scared, just realizing he was about to be alone in the dead of night.

“Why don’t you just get river water?” Elliott blurted out, in hopes the women would come back. Norma stopped dead in her tracks. Slowly she turned around on her heels, mouth gaping much like the boys earlier. The blond was just calmly staring up, unphased and suddenly calmed. “How old are you? My momma said I can’t talk to any older kids.” Children nowadays were so strange.

“How old are you?” Norma stuttered. It had been so long since she had been in contact with a human, much less a child. She usually only went to the market and even then people didn’t want much to do with each other.

“Nine” The child had responded without any hesitation. His eyes sparkled like stars in the dim light of the night. The child began to fidget with the hem of his pajama shirt under the poncho. 

She paused. “Uh, yeah, me too.” There was something about this child that had her dazed, something new she hadn’t seen before. She wanted to take him to her little cottage and teach him about her ‘witchcraft,’ as she had come to call it. Maybe he was like her? “I have to go water my plants now, you should visit sometime, I live in a tiny cottage. Number C33, it’s down the dirt road.” With that, she turned and disappeared into the night.

The two stayed friends throughout the years, even though Norma quickly found out Elliott was not a witch in any sense. It was no surprise when Norma burst through the front door to the apartment on that dreaded night. Her presence immediately warmed the whole house and soothed any uneasiness. Elliott sprang from the couch and shook all the blankets that were draped over him. 

“What a nice little place!! Oh, I brought a friend is it alright if he comes in?” The lady, dressed in something similar she wore on the night they met so many years ago. She also broke out a small silver pendulum. It swayed gently back and forth as Norma closed her eyes.

“I didn’t know you had friends” Elliott teased, then shrugged “but, sure, where is she?” That’s when he felt it. The tidal wave of uneasiness as soon as he had finished the sentence. He felt trapped, frozen in place. He couldn’t bear to even glance behind him to see whatever he had invited in. 

“I found him on the streets! His name is Hastur, very strange energy this one gives off, I think he’s linked to you.” Elliott found the strength to spin around to face the creature. His hair was white and extremely messy. It looked as if he has blisters trailing up the left side of his face, stopping directly below his left eye. His eyes were unmistakenly black, almost as if an ocean of the world's blackest ink had filled them. Elliott had grabbed the crucifix that laid on the table, his mother had gifted it to him before the move, and jumped on the couch.

“BE GONE SPAWN OF SATAN!” Elliott screamed thrusting the cross towards the obvious, demon. Hatur flinched slightly, taking small steps backwards until his back met the wall. Norma continued to focus on her pendulum as the two boys bickered. “LEAVE ME ALONE!”

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU PSYCHO!” Hastur yelled back. Elliott currently had him pinned to the wall. The blond held the cross arms length away from himself and a foot away from Hastur. Elliott's arms were shaking as Norma approached the two. She stretched out her arm so the pendulum was swinging in the space between the two boys. Her fingers, on the other hand, were pressed to the side of her forehead.

“I feel some tension in this chilis tonight.”

Elliot sighed. He couldn’t believe he accidentally invited a demon into his home and that he allowed it to stay. Of course, he trusted Norma, but just questioned her sometimes. What was so special about him that made the witch think he needed a demon?

Hastur wasn’t too bad. He did have an adorable pet frog that Elliott often stole from the demons head to feed flies or just to pet. The way Hastur watched TV was also quite amusing. He would usually watch shows with a ton of drama like the ones where people go to talk about how they’re cheating on their significant other or catfish episodes. The demon would laugh hysterically as the couples fought or the person behind the screen wasn’t who they said they were. It was indeed creepy, but slightly hilarious.

Hastur, also, would always eat whatever Elliott had baked. Any time the boy would ask where the last piece of cake went or why there were 9 macarons instead of 10 the demon would always say he “miracled it away.” Hastur always forgot to “miracle” away the crumbs on the corner of his lips.

“HASTUR FOR CHRIST SAKE STOP PUTTING DEAD ANIMALS IN THE POOL!!” Elliott scolded, putting the dead mourning dove in a plastic bag. He saved them for Norma, who could revive the beautiful little soul. Hastur cackled, his feet in the water, as Elliott emerged from the pool, setting the bagged dove on the deck. He pulled out a tiny little bottle filled with water and popped off the cork.

Hastur's eyes grew wide and he lost his smirk as soon as he heard the pop from the cork. He sprang up as fast as he could and tripped over his own feet trying to run away from the pool. Elliott smirked as he dumped the contents of the bottle labeled “holy water” into the pool and dived in. Something about scaring away a demon with tap water made Elliott laugh. Not that he’d tell Hastur that, it would break the demons poor little heart.

“Come on! The waters nice!” Elliott teased swimming back towards the doc to meet the demon. Hastur just responded with a hiss, pushing the blond away with his boot.


	2. No, we don't have sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elliot's done with Hasturs shit and makes him pay via public embarrassment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale, Crowley, and Hastur belong to Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett  
> Norma belongs to Inlustris_inferno  
> Elliott belongs to me!

Living with Hastur was the equivalent to living with a three-year-old that knew magic and had psychopathic tendencies. Like all psychopathic three-year-olds, Hastur had to have a nanny because God forbid he wasn’t watched 24/7. If he wasn’t under strict supervision the idiot would, most likely, try to burn the place down or, definitely, invite other demons into the apartment. At least, that’s what happened the last time he was left the apartment alone. Least to say, he was never left alone again after that.

Normally, on any other day Elliott had to do errands, Norma would watch over the devilish man child. She would keep him out of trouble by watching tv with him or threatening the demon with the tap water labeled “holy water.” Unfortunately, she herself had some errands to run on that particular day. The witch had mentioned something along the lines of some books she had to purchase from a “special book shop.” The two old friends compromised and decided they were to meet there at precisely noon and go to lunch. That, of course, was if Elliott could get his normal errands done.

Elliott would have allowed the demon to just sit in the car while he did all his running around. However, Hastur made it remarkably clear that he loathed cars. He wasn't used to the movement and claimed he got terrible motion sickness. So, in order to keep his demon hidden from others suspicions, Elliott found a pair of cheap, old sunglasses for Hastur to wear while they were out. Elliott also decided that he would bring his messenger bag to hold everything he obtained and to keep Hasturs frog out of sight too. Hastur refused to leave the amphibian at home.

The errands were nothing too strenuous. Turn in some papers to his professors, pick up a package from the post office, buy some more pens (Hastur made his old ones explode during a hissy fit about taking a shower), and pick up confectioners sugar. Simple things that could easily be completed within half an hour. Hastur was making things much longer than they needed to be, three hours longer to be exact.

Most of the time he would just stand still in the middle of the sidewalk, mumbling about how he would rather be home than running around the horrid city with all the mortals. He would watch in amusement as Elliott desperately tried to push him along, not making the demon move in the slightest. The cool summer air felt refreshing to everyone going about their day and was complemented by the bright sun that kissed every surface of the town. Hastur complained about that too.

“Hastur if you don’t move I swear to God I’m going to put you on a leash” Elliott whispered through gritted teeth. He was much shorter than the demon so, in order to get anywhere close to his ear, he had to stand on his tiptoes on top the other's feet. Not exactly the most pleasant-looking position, but a position nonetheless. Hastur continued to stare blankly ahead, frowning, wearing cheap blue-green tinted sunglasses to hide his inky black eyes. He would sneer at anyone who gave him and the human dirty looks. “You wanna know what will happen then? Huh, Hastur? Well, I’ll tell you,” Elliot then grabbed the taller man's scarf and pulled him close, “they’re going to think we have sex. Do you want that? No? Then move!”

Elliott took a couple of steps away from the taller man and, with all his might, gave him one final push. Nothing but a sly smirk from Hastur. Elliott puffed out his cheeks in order to keep from screaming in the middle of the street. Ever so slowly, he let out a deep sigh and walked away, leaving Hastur behind. The blond didn’t have to walk far, just a few shops away from where Hastur refused to move. 

Once he was alone Hastur began to think, relieved he was rid of the human. He supposed he could go back to the apartment and whip up some chaos there. Although, he wasn’t exactly sure where to go. Sure, technically he could just teleport there, but even then he had to know the general location of the place. He didn’t think he needed to keep track of where the apartment was because he didn’t think Elliott would be stupid enough to leave him in the middle of the street. Did the boy leave for good? Imagine what Hell would think of him if he came back saying he lost the boy and the “witch”. He would be as disgraceful as that damned Crowley, or at least close to him. 

Hastur hadn’t done something as foolish as falling in love with an angel, or even worse, a human. He could understand an angel, those bastards were glorified demons themselves, but a human was simply, utterly, unjustifiable. They were disgusting mortal flesh sacs created for no other reason than to do God’s bidding.

He had one simple job: get the witch back to heaven. A terribly long time ago heaven lost one of their head angels in a mix-up. They put the poor thing in a mortal body. Although she still retained her angelic abilities, she had no memory of the grand place above. This could have been easily settled years ago, but of course, Heaven and Hell had to deal with Crowley and Aziraphale. 

Since nearly every angel didn’t feel like killing the girl, which would send her back to heaven and give her back the memories of the place, they let a demon do all the dirty work. On the night Hastur and Norma met, he was going to kill her and get it over with. He would have been sent back to Hell and all would be good. Then Elliott entered the picture.

Hastur became so thoroughly lost in his thoughts he didn’t even hear said boy sneak up behind him. He only noticed Elliott's presence when he felt something cool and smooth rub up against his neck. Hastur’s breath was taken from him when he was suddenly choked due to a hard yank of whatever was placed around his neck. Hastur was suddenly facing his assaulter, a young, blond boy who wore a sly smirk upon his pale lips.

“I told you I would get you a leash,” Elliott said ever so sweetly “come on darling, we have to meet Norma.” With another harsh yank of the leash, both boys began to make their way down the street. Hastur didn’t pray, he was a demon so he never needed to. However, Hastur had never felt the need to pray outside of that moment. He only prayed that no demon would ever see this. People on the streets were far too busy to notice the couple, but Elliott marched around like he was proud of having the duke of Hell on a leash.

Five minutes passed before they reached a small little book shop, painted a lovely shade of red. Right outside, on either side of the double doors, were cream-colored pillars. Elliott tied the end of the leash he was holding to the pillar to assure his demon wouldn’t run away, adding “stay” for extra measure. Once he was sure the knot was tied strong enough, the blond made his way into the quaint little shop.

A little bell chimed and, once inside, the shop seemed far bigger than expected. Multiple rows of bookshelves filled any bit of static space. There was a charming plump man who seemed to be browsing through books himself. He had messy white hair, a bit more kempt than Hasturs however, and was wearing small, round reading glasses. Elliott stood there awkwardly trying to find the right words to say before the man noticed him.

The older man did a double-take at the blond, who was currently death gripping the strap of his bag. He seemed horrified and slightly offended someone was in the shop. “I’m sorry, but we don’t take cards. Cash only” the man stuttered, shaking his head the whole time. 

“I’m just here for a friend,” Elliott grinned sheepishly, “is Norma here?” Once Elliott said that the man’s whole demeanor changed immediately from ‘get the Hell out of this book shop’ to ‘stay as long as you’d like, love.’ He excitedly ushered the boy towards the back where Norma was settled in. She sat in a giant cushioned armchair, her legs crisscrossed. In her lap lay a giant black snake. Norma gently caressed the snakes head with one hand and wrote with her other one. The snake's eyes were closed and it looked as if it were in some sort of trance.

“Afternoon Elliott,” she said, not bothering to look up, “I hope Mr. Fell didn’t give you too much trouble.” Elliott took a seat in another cushioned seat across from the witch, leaning back into the chair. He took Hastur’s frog from his bag and gently stroked its head, closing his eyes. “He hates it when people try to buy his books, I'm finishing up transcribing this final page and then we can take our leave.” Norma paused writing, finally lifting up her head and glancing around. “Darling, where’s Hastur?”

Elliott cracked open one of his eyes to look at his friend. The snake’s eyes grew wide as it began to slither away from its napping spot. Elliott smirked as the frog in his lap began to croak. “Outside. I tied him up.” He answered, closing his eyes yet again. The frog didn’t stop making noise. 

"I'm sorry darling, could you repeat that?" Norma said closing her notebook and walking over to the boy who looked so relaxed that he could fall asleep at any second. This time Elliott opened both his eyes to look at the green-haired girl standing before him.

"He wasn't listening so I bought him a leash and tie-" Elliott was suddenly cut off by thundering laughter in the next room over. The pair of friends ran to locate the source of hysterical laughter. A skinny ginger, who most certainly wasn't there before, was doubled over and banging on the counter. He was dressed in all black and wore dark sunglasses, despite being inside. Soon the ginger began to wheeze, gripping his sides. Even Mr. Fell wore a small grin. Elliott looked at the window to see none other than Hastur, face pressed against the window and tears trickling down his pale white cheeks.

"Aw shit!" Elliott blurted out, setting the frog carefully back into his bag. Norma thanked the white-haired man before running after Elliott. The boy quickly untied the leash and unbuckled the demons collar. He cupped the others face. "Why are you crying? Don't do that please." He said, rubbing the other's cheeks in an attempt to soothe him. Elliott glanced back into the book shop to see the ginger was now on the ground from laughing so hard.

The bell rang as Norma quickly exited the building. "I heard there was this really good sushi place a few blocks away," she interrupted "we could go there for lunch!" Hastur sniffled a bit, leaning into Elliott's hands.

"Yeah let's go there, Hastur can let all the lobsters out of the tank," Elliott said turning his head towards Norma, not letting go of Hastur's face. He turned back to his demon companion. "Would you like that Hastur? To cause havoc in the sushi parlor?" The boy cooed. Hastur sniffled once again before nodding. Elliott gave him a pat on his face before the demon stood up straight. Once he dried his eyes on the hem of his coat sleeve Elliott grabbed his hand. Norma took lead, talking about new spells she wanted to try with the two.


End file.
